Monday, December 7, 2009

let it go...

Sometimes we have to do things that sting us a lil' bit...
Immunizations
Nasty Medicines
Special Diets
Awkward Conversations
Obeying Corrupt Systems of Law & Government
Facing & Accepting The Truth About Ourselves
and many other things like:
Letting Go...
We are all said to be made in the image of God, & that is usually something that we take comfort in, especially when it conveniences us. Accepting this notion makes us feel "bigger" and more important, like true heirs to His throne, like our lives mean so much more than what we were ever taught to think, but what if we took a moment to analyze ourselves against His true nature?
What would we see if we looked deeper into ourselves in order to piece together exactly what "God Code" inhabits & shapes our minds & hearts?
I understand that cosmic questions like these can be confusing, and even burdensome, but I have been absolutely overwhelmed to find that I just might have identified a strand of "God DNA" in me.
Stay with me. I'm really not crazy.. (not that crazy, at least)
I have always had a soft spot in my life for broken things. I never threw away my messed up toys. I would play with them no matter what shape they were in, and I would even go so far as to try to mend them in my "toy hospital." My mom would secretly remove them from my toy box and trash them to make room for new ones, and I would always wonder, sadly, where my broken toys had gone.
Stay with me, because this is where things might get a lil' weird if u don't pay attention.
What I'm trying to say is that I never placed that desire to love broken things in my own heart. I was just a baby, then a lil' boy and for as long as I can remember, it was right there; just as much a part of me as my hair, or eye color, embedded in me like the pigment of my skin & the shape of my nose.
But...
If I didn't place that "nature" within myself, then who did? I know plenty of people who seek to prey on broken things. It would only be logical to surmise that if a bird is unable to fly, that it will eventually fall victim to a harsh reality of some sort. I try hard not to judge, because yeah, I was taught to be merciless by the streets that reared me. I went against that "God Nature" so many times in my life & never once flinched at the things that I was doing because: "it wasn't my fault." I was a "product" of a certain type of "conditioning".
The problem with that theory, is that it was all b.s.
The reality is, however, that I AM created in a supernatural image, by a Supernatural Being, & He who created me loves broken things too. He fixes us when we're in pieces, and mends our wings so we can fly again.
Now here's the craziest part..
He does ALL of this knowing full well that once we are restored, we will turn from Him, walk away and eventually run back to the things that broke us in the first place.
Wooow...
So He lets us go, and it stings Him in ways that we could never begin to imagine. He doesn't fix us up begrudgingly. He doesn't throw us into a box and ship us straight to Hell. He just heals us, stands us up, and gently lets us go.
Well...
If the Most High, who created the Heavens & the Earth can let me go to live as I please & make choices that can potentially hurt me, then I can certainly let go of the beautiful broken vessels that I have tried to fix along the way.
But sometimes it stings...
I just wanna take some time out to thank Him for making me this way; not weak at all, NO, but so strong; strong enough to love, let go, and most of all believe that I can do it again, and again, and again and...

3 comments:

  1. i feel like i just read a piece of writing someone wrote about me .. i relate so exactly its crazy ..

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  2. glad to see that I'm really not crazy for the way I feel, live, and breathe every day..

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